Pine Lake – Part II

Okay. So Part II was supposed to be about how by some weird twist of fate, 30ish years later, I ended up going back to Pine Lake Christian Camp. This time, with Monkeyboy Junior and his Beaver group. And this time, with much better results…

It was going to be a post about making peace with a piece of one’s past…

About seeing things with new eyes and understanding things in a new way…

And about the joys of reconnecting with my son and the adventures we had together that weekend…

But.

By another weird twist of fate, I received a message a week or so after the camp “confirming the passing” of the son of one of the mothers I had met there. I’m not sure of the details of his death, but he’s gone. And even though I never even met the boy, it’s been weighing heavily on me ever since.

Perhaps it’s because I am remembering all of the loved ones I’ve lost already (I am truly awful with goodbyes). Or maybe it’s because I am imagining how utterly devastating it would be to be in her shoes. With my boys. I can’t… even… *heavy sigh* Probably, it’s a bit of both.

At any rate, I have spent the last week or so trying to figure out whether or not I should reach out to this virtual stranger, not wanting to intrude on a very personal and painful experience, but also wanting to help in some way if I possibly can. And this post… well… while I can remember that we had a joyful and positive and wonderful time at camp, I am having a hard time feeling that right now, and thus, a hard time writing about it as well.

In the end, I decided to prepare some meals and a box of other assorted dry goods and produce for the family. When our youngest was born and spent the first few weeks in the N.I.C.U., some moms from Monkeyboy Junior’s preschool did the same for us. And in some small way, it really did help. I have included a note offering to help out in any way I can (if she’ll let me), and just wanting to let her know that there is at least one more person in the world that is holding their family in her heart. I am going to drop it off tonight. And if there should happen to be a next time that something like this happens, I won’t waiver for a second about “paying it forward”.